A year ago we were completing our homestudy and slowing starting to announce our adoption plans.

Today, I met with our local CAS and had an amazingly positive discussion on the adoption system in Ontario and ways to improve it. Sadly, it’s not going to get better in time for us.

Yesterday, I made a visit to Goodwill, It was to donate all of the items we had purchased for a child we hoped to raise.

With much grief and guilt, we are stopping our efforts to adopt.

I know now is when I should be offering explanations and extending gratitude to everyone who helped us on this journey. We will, but all of that tidying up will have to wait.

Right now, we are quietly dealing with this new reality in our family. And it is painful.

We also know everyone means well, but we are far from being ready to handle any words of sympathy or comfort. It’s suddenly a very blank time. We will come back to everyone when we can, and hope that you’ll understand.

We tried.

We would’ve been good parents.